This post has been brewing for a long time and, much like last week, this is not a “one and done” post. It is a topic that will be revisited again and again because it is something that many people struggle with…. The topic is love.
The purpose of today’s post is to begin to properly position love in our minds; that way we can start to check our lives and make sure that we are doing the correct things... that provide us with the proper emotions from Life – happiness, pride, joy, excitement.
If anything has been improperly defined in our minds and beliefs, it is this idea of love. Take a look at some of the package deals we have bought …
We have been led to believe that love: “is blind,; “conquers everything (even starvation);”, “is not rational; “should be equally applied to everyone;” “is sacrificial;” “is a function of the heart and not the mind;” “is something you fall into,”… and on and on.
This week, like most other weeks, the challenge is going to be keeping this post short and sweet and not trying to tackle every topic on the theme of love.
Let’s start with ending the mystery… (the mystery meaning defining love with a clear concise definition. The world has told us what love is not…. Why don’t we define what it is…?)
Love IS – a response to values.
The reason you love someone or something is because it physically, emotionally, and spiritually, embodies and portrays everything that you value.
To be absolutely clear, love is not selfless; to say that is a contradiction. Love, especially romantic love, is the most selfish emotion experienced by a human being. Suppose you were to say, “I love my spouse so much that I want to share them sexually with other people.” That would be a selfless statement. Yet no person (well, rational person) would say that. The emotion produced by love is properly selfish. It is impossible to love everyone equally, or even at all. That statement is meaningless. If taken seriously, it would mean that you are supposed to love a drug-dealing murderer as much as your own mother.
Like I said before, there are volumes possible to write and many issues that need to be dealt with to solve the heart of the issue. I only have about 500 words so there is no way I can tackle this all at once. I will leave you with a final idea and test for yourself. Simply ask yourself why. Why do you love the things and people you love?
If love is a response to your values, then your answer should be because that person or thing (art, music, author, etc) has the same values and sense of life as you do. If you do not know… you have a lot of hard work and soul searching ahead of you.
You are free to not travel down the path of finding out why you love what you claim to love; however you are not free to avoid the consequences of that lack of a decision.
Please do yourself a favour and go for it…
One final quote to digest…
To love is to value. Only a rationally selfish man, a man of self-esteem, is capable of love—because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetrayed values. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone. Ayn RandDr. K