I'm very happy to present our first GFC guest blog. This week Amy shares:
The things I wish someone told me about after I had my first baby
Nurses and drs know a lot about what they do, but they don’t always know what’s best for you—follow your gut and stand up for your rights and beliefs
- Nursing is natural, but it isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen right away. Some babies don’t latch or suck properly. Don’t be afraid to ask for help over and over and over again if you aren’t sure the baby is getting enough.
- No matter how much you want it, and how hard you try, sometimes nursing isn’t enough for your baby. It’s ok to supplement, you did nothing wrong, don’t feel guilty.
- Bodily functions are not the same, you may pee yourself every time you cough, sneeze, laugh for a while, maybe forever.
- Sleep when you can—if you don’t , you are no good to anyone
- Don’t worry about the state of your house
- Ask for help and be specific—if you need someone to cook you a meal, ask them to, someone to clean your bathrooms, ask them…..you just birthed a child and need to tend to that selfish person, you aren’t superwoman and can’t do it all on your own.
- Your first period is CRAZY, you will think you are dying
- You will have contractions for weeks after when you are nursing and they hurt.
- Sex is a scary idea, don’t be afraid to let your partner know that.
- You will want to cry and scream because your baby won’t give you a break, it’s ok. Call a friend or family to come over and go for a walk or go out for a coffee. IT doesn’t make you a bad mom.
- You cannot be cool, calm and collected all the time, we all have moments when we feel like we are going to lose it.
- Don’t compare yourself to other moms or your baby to other babies, it’s just going to cause unnecessary stress.
- Don’t worry about your weight or how your body looks. Continue with your healthy habits and it will all come in time, it takes some longer than others. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
- It’s ok not to want to hold your baby all the time. It’s ok to put him or her down in a safe place and even leave the room. It’s good for them, actually!
- It’s ok to want to go out alone, doesn’t make you a bad mom and you don’t have to think about the baby the entire time you are gone.
- Most days you will have to choose whether to shower or eat, at least in the beginning
- You will have all day alone with the baby, and you will get nothing accomplished—before the baby came, I had grandiose plans to do walks, and baby groups, and workouts but after she came, by the time I fed her, changed her, and she napped, it was time to start it all over again.
- EVERYONE has tips and advice and you will drive yourself crazy questioning your own abilities to parent…..let them give them to you, but don’t listen. Do what is best for you and your new family.
All of these things seem menial and unimportant but when you are home alone with your new baby, you have a lot of time to think and question your abilities to parent. On top of this, you have crazy hormones trying to go back to normal, so you are more emotional about everything.